wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize