So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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