So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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