Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
