i always forget guys have bellybuttons
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
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