Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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