Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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