she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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