3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
