Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
