dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Threesome in a minivan. New low
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
