So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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