I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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