I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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