please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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