You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
