Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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