isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize