brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
