we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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