Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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