: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
