right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
