It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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