I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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