I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
