shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize