I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
