dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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