How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
