She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
