Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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