Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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