Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
