Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
