Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Randomize
