Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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