Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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