Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
