Duck Duck Cougar?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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