You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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