I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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