we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
