Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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