Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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