Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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