Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
