apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
