if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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