I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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