Who did Billy Mays play for?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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