I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
