So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
