K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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