I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
