her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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