I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
