Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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