No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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