Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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