You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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